Thanks GAGirl! I have no doubt my H is growing - I can't read what's going in his mind of course but I'm sure he'll grow from this experience even if he thinks he won't. Yes, my situation is not to where Dia's is at all yet but her inspiration has been very helpful to me in keeping up hope!

Well today has been a day of conflicts! I don't want to bore you all with details so try to be brief. Began the day with noticing that H did something that has been a trigger point for me in our marriage. He took only his clothes out of the hamper and washed them the night before - twice he's done that this week. First time I took a deep breath and let it go. This time I went upstairs and told him how I felt. He started out defensive but when I stuck to my feelings about the situation he seemed to stop defending and listen. I told him that maybe it was wrong but what I felt was that it was his way of showing me that I was not doing enough around the house. That I felt he expected me or wished for me to keep up everything around the house and work fulltime but that I had told him honestly in the past I could not handle full-time mom/full-time housework/full-time work all at the same time. I was trying my best to do more around the house but it's exhusting. I would never be able to live up to that standard that he wanted. I was upset but not yelling - more trying not to cry. I ended it by saying that it might be wrong but this was how I felt. He said "Message received". I went out with the kids for awhile and things were normal when I came back.

Then our next conflict was that some classmates wanted a playdate with my kids so I said yes on the phone without asking H. I had no idea he had plans to take one of our kids out somewhere. He'd mentioned it but had not told me any firm plans for when this weekend. He was annoyed and upset. I did think about it and realize that I hate this when H commits to somthing without asking me (and he does this often) so I went up and apoligized. He took it pretty graciously and agreed to change the time for his plans.

So turns out the father of the classmates drops them off and he is going through a divorce - his wife is the WAS. So he talks about that a bit - and I can only imagine what my H was feeling while the guy was complaining about his WAW's crazy behavior. I was supportive but careful about what I said. He really stressed how hard it was on his kids and all the custody and money settlement issues he was going through. Kept my mouth pretty much shut about that.(He doesn't know as we've only told mostly close family and friends so far about the seperation.)

I won't go into the details but later on we had a conflict about money. I think this one is something normally we wouldn't conflict about but he's touchy this evening: all the other conflicts maybe even though solved...the comments of the guy getting divorced...who knows? All I know is this one was not my fault anyway and I handled it very well.

So H was in a good mood this afternoon for a bit and talked a little bit about a female friend who he went to high school with on facebook. It was a pretty innocent thing - certainly appropriate comment to something I was doing at the time. I have mixed feelings. Glad that for the first time in ages he's mentioning something about what he does on FB. It's a nice new step. On the other hand of course when you're separated you can't help but wonder "Is this a possible EA or a very,very well hidden PA even?" I didn't get that impression from him but in general with the amount of texting he does - a lot might be job related but I know it isn't all... frown Tons of time spent on FB! (I did unfriend him after the bomb - otherwise I would be constantly checking his page for updates I know.) I don't really think there is a PA (he's home so much - where would he fit the time?!) ...but I highly suspect an EA.

Well overall I'd say it was certainly a day to put in practice a lot of the good advice I've learned from the LHF program. Just trying hard not to let all those 'unknowns' get to me today!