Ant, as I am in the middle of this as well, remember, as a really smart person once said in the movie Animal House "it aint over 'till its over. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? I dont think so."
Stand tall, I have read many threads from people who were where you are now, who DBed and who navigated this with success. Will success mean you are married? I dont know. I have had to face that reality as well. But I know this, if our marriages don't make it, then as GIMA has said many a time, there is someone out there who needs us more than our WAW. You need to live for today, then tomorrow, then the next day - one day at a time - . I am reading a great book called "The Worry Cure." It helps to address what you are going through which is a chain reaction of worries about possible future events. All you can control is yourself, and the improvements you want to make for yourself. Let her see those changes. In my case, I figure I have once a week to show her the new me, then during the week I will continue to do things the new me wants to do. Being understanding, listening to people, being compassionate, and understanding my Faith on a much deeper level than ever before. But all the while being a man and taking that confident position. For me, each week will be practice time, then the big game is Thursday night which is family night. Don't worry if you dont have a family night, she will have to see you and talk to you about your kids.
In my case she has said the same thing, she only wants a divorce, yada, yada, yada. And you know, she may very well file for one. She may actually get divorced. Will I be sad, sure I will. But even if I see the kids less, I will make that time even more special for us all.
My goal is to never let my WAW see the pitiful old me again. I am still working on that, but when she sees me, I want her to think "Wow, look at that man that was/is my husband. He is the type of person anyone would be proud to call their husband and the father of their children. What the h*** am I doing ?" Will she ever? Who knows.
Check in often and I will your thread as well. I will be thinking about you. Stay busy!
Hi shellshockedga.
I will respond to your thoughtful post...just need some time. Thank you for being here and responding.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
