Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

I understand why you feel the way you do. I would probably feel that way too.

How did you pick yourself up after the first bomb?

Greek had some great suggestions. Stay busy and do something for someone else. One of my tricks was to make myslef talk to someone who I saw during my day who was a stranger. It really helped me.

You're probably already exercising. If not, throw yourself into that. Getting back in shape helps the self confidence.

Get your mind occupied. You've been at this long enough to know what to do.

I'm really hating what's happened, and I'm really hating what's to come.

Time, mostly. But during that time I learned to become a better antlers and a better dad and a better partner. Exercising regularly, coming here to read and post, reading and studying 'Love Without Hurt' by Steven Stosny, prayer, trying to spend more time with friends, spending as much quality time with our little kids (custody has been 50-50 since the separation), and also hoping for a second chance with her.

Yeah, she did. Incidentally, compassion is something that I really went to work on after the separation. I was lacking in compassion. I'm more compassionate now, and I continue to work on it. I really learned how important compassion is, especially compassion for oneself as well as for others. I work in a busy ER, and I have ample opportunities to help and talk to others.

Exercising - I've lost 95 pounds. I ride a road bicycle on a regular basis...something I started doing after the separation. I rode 863 miles in August, and 795 miles in September. I've been spending lots of time out on the road and putting lots of miles. I have thrown myself into it. I also do dumbells, pushups, abs., and jump rope. Regularly. I am more physically fit now than I've probably been my whole life. Yeah, it helps me to be stronger in more ways than just physically. But, self-confidence is now in the tank since her call on Oct. 1.

This is a biggie! Right now, my mind is occupied with my past mistakes, and my family being broken and shattered apart, my wife divorcing me and not loving me anymore, and the horrible legal process that we're now going to go through. I wasn't thinking about this stuff for months and months. Now it's consuming me.