Hoping WAW will someday see through the fog....

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Well, as of 4:34 she has placed two calls and sent 4 text messages to me. I expected thi and have gone dim - except for the request to speak with the children. The boys and I decided to abandon the Bull riding idea because of traffic and distance, but are going to instead rent a movie and do fun boy stuff (burp, etc...)

Tomorrow is packed with activities and Sunday morning is Church. Hopefully this will keep all of our minds off the WAW.

If for some reason I feel the need to reach out to her, I will instead reach out to the boards. I am in no hurry to speak to her.

Coach, I just finsihed reading the first 2 or three threads of your experience and am glad I now have the knowledge of what you went through. I do have one question, when your W moved out you offered to help. Did you ever go to her place to visit etc..? I was adament about not helping and wonder if I made a mistake there?

One thing to know, Shell, is that no matter what your wife says or does, she is not nearly as confident about this decision as you imagine. I know I looked solid when I left our home, but inside I was in turmoil. It was not an easy thing to do for me and I would bet a month's salary it is not easy for your wife either. Not your problem - just putting it out there.

My advice to you is only speak when spoken to - about the children. Do NOT reach out to her for anything. Just leave her to her decision while you start making a life for yourself (GAL). If she needs help with her new place, say "Gosh - I hate backed up plumbing. Let me look here - there it is! This is the number for the plumber the Smiths used when that happened to them." Don't have to be mean about it or anything - truly you are just honoring her decision to be on her own. Coach came into my place ONCE. I invited him in for coffee when he came to pick up our daughter. It was very awkward. Funny thing was, I really wanted that time with him, but the place was problematic. I never invited him again b/c I thought it was hurtful to him. I had a fender-bender while we were separated and the first person I called was Coach. He asked if the children were with me, were they ok, was I ok, how badly is the car damaged...and that was it. He didn't make a single offer to help. Guess what I did. Drove right over to his office to see him. When he gave me that space, without him charging into it, I could make a choice for myself about what I wanted and who I wanted.

I know you asked Coach - hope you don't mind me chiming in. Good that you are reading his posts from that time. He really handled himself well and I noticed. It made a difference and contributed to our reconciliation.

Cheers.
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