Shes definitely been trying to angle for as much time as she can. She's been receptive to my insistence that we put our needs aside and do "what's best" for him. (Funny, the alien is telling her that leaving home is what's best for him???) We've agreed that she is moving, not him. That he will live in our home with me, that we will share parenting decisions and custody. He will sleep at our house Sun-Thurs nights. When she has him sleep at her place on the alternate weekends, he will sleep over on Sunday, and she will drop him off at AM daycare. She will pick him up from PM daycare 2 nights a week, play, do homework and have dinner with him, and then bring him home by 7:30 to get ready for bed. We will have a little family time together when she brings him home, but she will not be part of his bedtime routine here at home.

Now for the new twist... Yesterday she suggested that we not alternate weekends with him as far as a mine/hers weekend. She suggested that we keep our weekend routine exactly the same as it has been for many months now. Basically, we continue to do things together (soccer), and plan our weekends with him around each others needs and schedules. I take him someplace in the morning, she takes him in the afternoon... The only real difference is where he's sleeping at night. It was hard to find anything wrong with that plan that wasn't based on self interest. My son gets to see both Mom and Dad during the weekend, and none of us have to go more than about 24 hours without seeing each other. It's a win/win/win.

I guess the only real drawback is from a Divorce Busting standpoint, she needs to come out of the fog and realize and take responsibility for her decision to leave. Not having my son around all the time was one sure way of getting her to see that the fantasy isn't all she thinks it will be. But I said from the outset that his needs come above all others, and this is a great thing for him. Perhaps it's a little cake-eating on her part, but in the end, even if she never is able to heal and we are never able to reconcile and renew our marriage the way I still believe we can, we will always be a family and the stronger a family we are, the better it will be for my son. I'll draw boundaries for her in the house and in other regards, but I will not use my son as a pawn or tool in this, and will always act in his best interests and ours as a family.