The Thread With No Home

[mockers2]

Hi Jackie - Just a few more thoughts. It seemed that being confronted with the reality of what he was doing really angered my H. (An example - our oldest child began crawling out of her crib right before he moved out. So, we had to start dealing with putting her back into her big bed over and over and over. I said to my H, "I guess I'll just have to bump around by myself and figure this out." Not the best way to put it, but what I meant was that he wouldn't be there to help me b/c he was moving out. He was furious with me for saying that.) Again, showing him anger was justified, but didn't help the situation.

Don't beat yourself up for throwing the tape or for losing your temper. You are human and have been weathering this storm very well.

A friend of mine keeps saying to me that it makes my H uncomfortable to be confronted with what he's done - especially in the beginning. And that's why he held off telling people - b/c he knew on some level that it wasn't right, and didn't want ot hear that from anyone. Hearing that someone is surprised about what's going on, with the possibility that they may voice disagreement with his decisions kept my H silent for quite a while. The one friend he did confide in early on told him he thought he was making a mistake.

I agree with RJ - keep taking care of yourself and the boys. When you have to be around your H, try to think of him as an angry houseguest and as much as you can, depersonalize his behavior. This is not all about you at all - it seems to be mostly inside your H, but he's throwing it all at you.

Thinking of you. ((((Jackie)))))