Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Thanks Fallgirl,

But I don't have much patience right now. Reaching the end of my rope.

Fear: I am really afraid that things aren't going to change. That this R will just never be good. That the weight of the R will always be on me. That I will never get out of the role of Saviour/Scapegoat. That even if things reconcile, that I will just end up right back here in a few years when she pulls away again - a few more years lost to a bad R.

Anger: I hate the absolute apathy I get from her recently. Her attitude says "I don't care if you are in my life or not, just don't interrupt or bother me."

So yes, she is no longer actively leaving, and is no longer fighting against going to Retro. This has been really hard. Really.