After 30 Years!

[Lost Rabbit]

is a killer, you want to try shopping for frillies with s*x on your mind lol! Bought a pretty lacey strappy top with matching undies, I so seriously could become a lingerieaholic, it sure beats saddlecloths lol!

Was going to ride Madam but decided a) leg was seriously sore after walking round the shops and b) she is going to quite busy for the next three days so deserved a rest.

Had txt H in the morning and mentioned we had a little klingon (S) for tea so what did he fancy, and signed it pole dancing pu$$y so much sexier than HID (her indoors). So he asked for fajitas and plenty of alcohol, so got dinner sorted out as well!

Only thing I hadnt anticipated, H arrived half an hour early and my hair was still in big curls ala Hilda Ogden Nell but still looking sexyish. We had a cuppa and talked about things, he kept talking about his life down there, and as we sat cuddling on the settee, he talked more about joining this and that! And taking this and that from our home as he has a week off but isnt coming up here for a few days into it! I finally had enough of him rubbing my face in his new life and sexily turned round and said words to the effect, if you keep rubbing my face in certain things I can and will retreat behind my boundaries I do have some you know! Intimating that I wasnt going to be his weekend sex kitten if he carried on building a life to go back too with no intention of building a life with me ever again! Im definitely no victoria sponge!

Have you ever tried to kill four and half hours when either of you quite frankly cant wait lol. We went to pick up babycakes new antibiotics and then I suggested going for a pre-dinner drink.

Great idea says H, so I order wine and g&t for H and I wanted to order some bread nibbles to soak up the large glass of wine I'd ordered, but tis the sorta pub you get a table no then order food so a bit of panic set in and I TOLD H to get a table, he gruffly said no rush and I twigged what I had done. So I smiled, said youre right daft me lets go find a table and come back and tell the gentleman where we are sitting, with that H went to look for one and came back and told the man no 17, thats appropriate I laughed, I chose it on purpose or something like that from H, when I went round the corner there were three tables and H had not avoided no 17 but picked it on purpose, we got married on the 17th.

We spent an hour stroking and stealing lingering kisses from each other whilst H pretended to read the menu, think the staff were blushing, H teased me that he expected that they thought he had taken his secretary out for drinks and we were having an affair.

On the drive home

H "can I say something"
R "please do"
H "did you realise that in our conversations so far you have referred to yourself about eight times as 'a wife' You make yourself sound like a job description you are a woman first and a wife/parent second"
R "thank you for that youre right and its something Im working on, I enjoy being a woman now, I feel great, sexy and most of all its fun"
H "Im really glad you are enjoying being yourself its important"
R "and Im enjoying you feeling able to share something with me"

We went home and cooked dinner with S he made nachos which he is fab at, and we cooked the fajitas, S kept telling us to "get a room" and saying "it was disgusting at our age" but the I expect he is secretly pleased we were getting on so well!

Well S carried on playing wallflower after dinner, and subjected us to watching him play Fifa10, snoringly boring! But he finally left to pick up his GF from the station and stop over at hers! So I snuck upstairs and put on my pole dancing outfit and killer heels and proceed to show H the goods, well he was suitably impressed and again a fun night was had by both!

In the morning we snuggled and ML again, and some how we ended up talking about complaints and I said "in future if you have a complaint bring it straight to the complaints dept" meaning I want you to share things with me! So he promptly replied "come on wheres that coffee"

He showered and sat on the bed, looking sheepish, so I teased him that he looked sheepish like someone who had woken up in the wrong bed, he smiled and said if he didnt want to be there he would have snuck off at six in the morning! Anyway he collected his things together and todded off to do his own thing!

Im loving all this "courting" for want of a better word, but I know that it cant go on like this for ever, and also that I want some sort of commitment to a relationship from him, still no ILY, although he did mention again "is it nice being desired" to which I replied "yes but there are better words for that, although I understand that is just a bit too scary for you atm" meaning I so want to love me! He got the gist but its not coming yet! I have had a fantastic time again, but why do I just feel like crying, there is so much I could journal so many little clues but my head is spinning, I know he wants to be with me, but that MLC/Alien man is still present, I do think/know that if he renews his lease and the new job he is pursuing is the same side of london to keep his place, Im going to have to start doing WAW, it scares me but I dont want to be a six month affair going no where!