Mockers & Sue, thanks for checking in. I am trying to be kind and take care of myself. Did horrible job of it this weekend, things spiraled a bit out of control.
Floyd, Finally couldn't take all of the crap being thrown at me and I got angry. Mental note, my anger does not work. Major backslide, things gets worse. Do not try that route again!
Friday H gets home, angry mood, but what else is new. I had told friend in bible study on Tuesday that H was leaving (her H works with my H), she had wanted to know why H didn't go to Disney with us. So her H goes to talk with my H on Friday at work, what's up type of talk. H is furious with me that I did not tell him who I have told. Said we made a pledge to tell each other who we tell (I honestly don't remember that, only during the hotel period), H said that it makes him look like he doesn't confide in work friend and has not been honest with him. H really mad at me, tells me he is dissapointed in me.
So Saturday I go out to movies. Left H a note apologizing for not telling him. He calls me on cell and goes into it again, demadning to know everyone I have told, very, very angry. I spend most of day sobbing. I come home and go to bed, then decide to write down list of people I have told (about 7 total, other than the world of the internet), walk down and give him the list. He goes ballastic, we have to tell kids, two neighbors know, their kids ride bus with mine, etc. etc. I also told my folks. He know says he has to tell his, mine are going to call them (not). He goes on and on, very angry, demands to know exactly when I told everyone. Dissapointed in me....I finally lost it, yell things back to him, told him he told my boss without me ever knowing, that he isn't any saint, then I go upstairs and throw a video against the wall and make gash in wall. He comes storming up and say he is going to leave now before I destroy the entire house (in 1 year of this, first thing I have broken or damaged). He then leaves for work, I call his cell, it is busy, he calls back a few hours later, talking about finances, will I sign the divorce decree and other nasty stuff, won't be getting money, support, etc.
