Im in with Berto on the tough love thing. My first reaction was, "I can't believe he expects that he can go on "as if" while he knows that he is leaving in the near future." I dont understand why there is a date, and that is when things will change. I think that when he told you he was moving out, that is when things changed. At that exact moment, Jackie shouldn't have to worry about anything except her and her children.
There is an example in DR where it actually took a person getting extremly angry and blowing up before the spouse got the picture. Its not the perfect scenerio, but it was what worked. It was a 180. Obviously, being the loving and caring Jackie isnt working. I think that a hard a$$ Jackie might turn his head. You might want to read the chapter about the Last Last Resort Technique.
Like Cathy said about her H calling while she had some friends over. I think the perfect response to his comment would have been, "WHAT!!! You're out screwing around on me while I'm having a party???!!!!????" Maybe he would have realized then, how obsurd his comment was.
At the point he told you he was moving out, he became just a roomate, and should be treated as such (IMHO). If you dont want to make him leave sooner then his planned date, I wouldnt worry about letting him know your plans, or telling him where you are going, or cooking him dinner, or doing his laundry, etc, etc. Be the Jackie you want to be. Dont be the Jackie he expects you to be, ie. The Jackie that will be walking around with her head hung, lost because her H has left.
Like Cathy's party, do something that would send him the signals that his leaving doesn't bother you at all. Doing what he expects you to do will only validate his reasons for leaving. That logic doesnt make much sense to all of us, but it will to him.
It seems to me that he doesnt like that you "need" him, or that you still want him after everything he has done to you. I think he feels that way out of guilt. Give him what he wants. Give it to him in such an extreme fashion that he wont like it.
Thats just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt.
((((((Jackie)))))))
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
