It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

Yes, I know. Pouting is bad. No pouting. No one wants to help a pouter.

I'm going to try flirting w/ W. Not raunchy or anything, just casual. I texted "poke" then "(((hugs))) see, not grumpy" she replied "don't make me giggle" and I replied "I like it when you giggle." I know, not earth-shattering (or even clever) but it's a step.

W and I are talking and it's not what I want but I have to be okay with what I have.

been listening to borrowed audio of Light her fire. Thanks for the recommendation, buttercup!

Gotta fight the sad and get out and DO THINGS. Really improves the mood and keeps me out of my head.

I think a lot of my complaining is about attention-getting. I know I can't do that w/ W but I need to get a handle on that and not inflict it on everyone else.

Some hope on the job front. But talking to W and Ds reminds me of all the things I can't be involved in. They're picking out Halloween costumes, making party plans. Hopefully, I can hang with them on Halloween at W's dad's. That's the tentative plan and hope it works out. FIL was supportive of us staying together in the past and hope he still is. Could help to counter the negative influences she's getting from others.

Hopefully the meltdown was temporary. Trying to be positive through this is tough! The alternative is worse, though.