oh this is good, i had to go p the hallway bathroom toilet found out it doesn't flush, I IGNORED IT. Remember last week, she said I ignored everything that's broken in the house since i was kicked out.
I know this is hard to understand. Knowing what to do is not easy in these situations.
But you have to listen to what she says, figure out what is real and what is blah, blah, blah and go from there.
If it is a valid complaint, then you have to do something to change it. If it isn't, then you forget about it.
The broken toilet, should have at least seen if you could fix it or if a plumber needed to be called IMO. Then you could have said, checked and fixed, or checked and need a professional.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
She didn't ask me to fix the toilet guys,it was a fluke that i found out it didn't work, i wouldn't have been at the house if she had driven the car i dropped off and i had to be at work and oh by the way i was told not to talk to her, so i haven't.
i did look at it briefly,i've messed with that toilet for years,last year i put a new deal in it, i know for a fact someone was trying to fix it, because i saw a box for toilet parts in the trash when i was leaving and the parts in the toilet are not what i installed last year, what i installed had a float ball, what was in the tank did not.
So i thought i should just ignore the toilet and let her have whoever tried to replace the stuff fix it.i already was nice with the car, i thought i would push it for sure with the toilet.
maybe i should've given a longer post in regards to that earlier jack. if i hadn't seen new parts in the tank and the box in the trash can, well yes i would've fixed it. Sorry i didn't fully explain.
The life's lessons you are to learn out of this are simple ones, but HARD to put into actions
They involve Control Lessons first and foremost.
The rule of thumb to remember is the only person you can control in this life is YOU, not anyone else-and change must begin within before a situation changes without.
That means ALL control you THINK you have must be released: physical, spiritual-everything.
The MLC'er, no matter how erratic he/she is acting, is NOT a child, and does NOT need help-they must be allowed to work this out on their own and make decisions accordingly.
I know you think you are helping if you try to show them what you perceive they are doing wrong, but they will see it as CONTROL, and run further away.
You have to learn to separate the behavior from the person, and set boundaries as to what you will and won't accept, taking care of YOU in the process.
Focusing on what the MLC'er is or is not doing is NOT helping YOU-it is only dragging you down further and further, and you WILL hit rock-bottom and have a nervous breakdown, worrying about things you CANNOT and DO NOT have control over.
You must learn, also to STAY CALM in conflict-the more emotional power you give a situation, the worse it can escalate. Tap into the inner strength you KNOW is there and use it to your advantage.
You must face Childhood Wounds and heal them, whatever those may be, and they will be found on your journey to find YOU. That means exploring your childhood, looking at the patterns YOU are repeating-and change your behavior accordingly-that is part of your growth.
Remember no one does anything to YOU-they do it to THEMSELVES, as this has NOTHING to do with you, and everything to do with THEM.
IF you don't like a situation, CHANGE IT-taking the steps necessary to do so. Each individual is different and it may take a combination of things to achieve this change.
Learn that happiness, self-validation, self-esteem etc comes from WITHIN you, and is NOT found in outside factors-NO ONE can make you "complete". You must learn to find these things WITHIN.
Then, and only then will True Love be born-you will need because you love, not love because you need.
Accepting yourself is extremely important as we must live with ourselves for the rest of our lives, and we know deep within our hearts what we can and cannot live with.
We must "let go" no matter how painful that might be, it is through the giving of this freedom, we may regain our MLC spouse. Because we will NEVER own anyone, but OURSELVES.
That inner peace we are searching for CAN be attained through the "letting go" totally-it is the peace we can have WITHIN the storm.
And until we reach that point, we will always be confused-it is through the clearing of our mind that the answers will come from the place they have always been--within ourselves.
There are NO answers to be found outside of us, otherwise.
We can and must trust ourselves to do the right thing at all times, trusting in the Lord to guide our feet along this journey.
And understand that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, we WILL be all right.
"I'm an extrordinary person" times 400 times in my mind.
READING,READING,READING and just looking thru posts for words of encouragement.
Laughing outloud when a "hurt" would come to my mind and shake my head.
Playing a guitar that I always wanted to learn how to play...
I got to thinking on the dirt bike,Mach I want one,but deep down, I think you were right, I was getting it for two reasons, myself to take out frustration and take a risk, TWO to impress my wife.
I think I'm going to wait on it, until I feel I don't need to impress anyone,but myself.
