Drew - he's probably not seeing all the dramatic mood swings that you are seeing. He would mostly just see her "happy" face. Remember, he's a distraction - so those negative aspects of whatever she's going through are not front and center when she's with him. And when she does show any negative emotions around him such as anger, she's probably blaming you.
"Let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" 1 Cor. 10:12
Amy- I'm just curious. Do you think the MLCer knows the OP is just a distraction? Or do they really believe that the OP is all those things they are missing?
My son and I visited a few homes this morning. I believe we have found our new home. My son enjoyed running around the yard. I think the home will be perfect for us.
My realtor and I will meet tomorrow to put together an offer. I am excited.
After visiting the homes, my WAS came by to pick up our S. Once our S saw her arrive, he said " I don't want to go with momma". At that point, my mother and I began to cry.
My WAS saw he was crying but did not say anything while I put him in the car seat. I asked her to have him back @ 1pm tomorrow. She didn't question me and went on her way.
So, I sit here with mixed emotions while I drink a cup of coffee. On my way to the gym in a few minutes to do some cardio.
Days like today are what make this sitch so difficult. We went from laughing and giggling to crying in a matter of hours.
To the MLCer, the OP is a distraction because they think they found the answer. In my sitch, my wife said she loved OM #1. 3 weeks later, their relationship was done. Then she said OM #2 was her soulmate, 2 months later they were done. I'm waiting for OM #3 to come along anytime.
The OP makes them feel "happy". It's not a real, true love they feel. From what I understand it's more of an immature, puppy love type feeling they get. It is a distraction because they are able to focus their energy on that instead of the troubles brewing inside.
Amy- I'm just curious. Do you think the MLCer knows the OP is just a distraction? Or do they really believe that the OP is all those things they are missing?
MLCers aren't cognitively aware that the other person is distracting them from their real issues. That's why I said they're band-aids. They cover up the wounds that have the MLCer in this state of mind in the first place - further dragging out the process.
Your focus should not be on the other person. Or the affair. Or whatever other crazy crap your MLCer is doing/saying.
It needs to be on yourself. Read up on MLC all you want. But don't get caught up in analyzing the MLCer.
That is detrimental to your own well-being and if your spouse or significant other is indeed MLC, there's nothing you can do about it.
"Let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" 1 Cor. 10:12
Well, the weekend is about over. Enjoyed spending some time with friends and family. Had some good laughs. I am glad to have them in my life.
My S came home on time today. I asked his mom to have him home on time and she obliged.
I did get the 'you still don't change speech' from her. I listened and just nodded my head. Just learning to validate and not argue.
Its sad seeing her two days in a row in the same clothing. She's done that quite a few times. She used to be conscious of her clothing. Now its sweatpants and a t-shirt.
She used to be confident. I just don't see that anymore. She seems like she just doesn't care.
