Newbie.....dealing with a MLC'er....

[Amy40]

Amy,

I have noticed how much angrier she has become. Are those hormones talking?

Or, is that just a symptom? She goes from being angry, sad, happy each time I see her

LOL - I haven't known ya long enough to give you a virtual smackdown yet so I'm gonna let the hormone remark fly.

Listen, this isn't menopause or anything like it.
It's not biological or physiological or neurological (though at times that one could be hotly debated!).

MLC is a life crisis.
At it's heart it is emotional.
Yes, mood swings are an earmark.

I remember everything but the spewing of green stuff and my head spinning around. I was a hateful MLCer. And my spouse took the brunt of it. My words were vicious. I'd always been more of a passive-aggressive type personality but in fullout MLC that changed and to call me 'mean' would be an understatement. Whereas before I'd bite my tongue over things and measure my words, in MLC if I felt even remotely backed into a corner my previous tendency to be silent left me and I no longer had that ability, try as I might - which wasn't often. Gone also was my ability to rationalize and sympathize. EVERYTHING was a personal attack against ME and I reacted accordingly and I HATED.

You should try not to take things to heart or too seriously. Most of what she says in anger will just be spew. She can't yet look inward and discover the roots of the problems. That takes a lot of time. As I've said before some don't do that at all...
But do listen and keep your ears open because at some point something she says will probably ring true in your spirit and you'll identify an area you need to work on. We can learn from ANYONE. Even a b*tching MLC woman

As for the tears, well....those are gonna happen too.
I'd say just listen and validate whenever, wherever you can if she talking to you. DO NOT TRY TO FIX. That's the biggest mistake men make. I know it is deeply ingrained into most of you to want to fix - and it's not your fault - it's what you are taught. But you can't fix this. It's about her life, her past, her present, her future.

Hopefully at some point she'll at least wake up enough to be the mother her son deserves. Hopefully she'll have the guts it takes to walk out of this in one piece. That won't happen unless she completely shatters first though. Let her go and take care of yourself and your child. That's the best gift you can give to yourself. And your son. And also to her.