i bought a house. my own place - on my own. God is faithful. So very very faithful.
This is not where I wanted to be 2 1/2 years ago - but you know what.. this IS where i am. AND GOD .. yes I can say that over and over. Even in my counseling session on Saturday my counselor and I actually went there... he asked it...
"what good cagzmom.......has come out of this...."
And you know what i could answer... yep... i see good.
My kids learned how to set boundaries - so did I. My kids learned how to trust in a healthy way. I have no anxiety.
GOD has shown Himself to me in ways I would have NEVER seen. He is my Husband, my Friend, Provider, and Comforter. Though there were times when I did not see Him feel Him or otherwise... but I HAD to believe that He was there... i know it!!
still would love to love again.... wonder what is next.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
How wonderful Cagz. Tell me about it or send me a picture on the email. I am so happy for you. Look at how far you have grown.... I wish I could celebrate with you
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Hey Cagz...that is great about your house and how you are feeling! Im happy for you! God is good all the time....I wonder what is next for you too! Cant wait to see what God has in store for all of us!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
d13 had a softball game tonight. he was there (which is good - he should be for my d13). shared a picture with him of d13 and s20 that was in my phone.. and another that was awesome of them both... (to me showing him pictures of our kids is just that.. they are OURS.... and sharing is somehting i won't stop doing)
ANYWAY--- afterwards he asked me if there was anything to "expect" this weekend.. It was just a wierd question and it was random and well .. just wierd. we gabbed for a little bit about d13 and he bla bla bla about some other stuff.. just wierd.
but .. the reason why it is strange to me.. is in less then 2 weeks we go to court about back child support. nothing i can do .. it is not call - this is the child support people. but it is just wierd... a ploy by him for waht? sympathy? i dont know..
just wierd
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
x and i went out in the hall to come up with an agreement and everything was fine and we got along.. as always. AS ALWAYS!
i have already spoken to c today... the only reason we aren't together is because he wont get counseling and he won't go to Christ.. seems so small --- but I know how huge BOTH are.
he left to find happiness... he didn't find it...
he stays away...
yes i am going forward but my heart is still knit to his. i dont know how to let the last piece go. i really dont.
how could i love someone still who hurt me so deeply? i dont get it...
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
how is it my x can walk in my new home and not at all seem uncomfortable? he seemed so at ease.. even asked if i wanted him to come with me to pick out paint colors... and the worse part is.. he meant it...
strange - wierd - can't wait till i am more like trusting and less like this.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
