I have gotten up this morning and pondered this whole situation again. I am considering being absolutely pitch black and postponing the tribunal for myself - not sending any emails to H whatsoever.
Just can't decide what I want to do but am taking another day to think it over.
If I do this, H may start to wonder - he will be angry that I have not answered but he still won't care and it may just add to his dislike of me for daring to ignore him. If I do respond, he will know all is well and nothing changes.
I don't know how to make decisions anymore. Not about this nor anything. I am mostly contemplating whether or not I move home next year and give up the life that was 'our' dream.
I think that the tribunal needs to be postponed whatever I do/do not say to H so I am going to email them today. That will be a 180 on it's own as H always deals with the co-ordinator. I shall merely copy H on the email so that he knows what I have done. He will think that I am throwing a hissy fit at his not going but at the moment, I just don't care.
More time required .... think Nell, think.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
