I don't see anything fundamentally incompatible between love-and-compassion and calling bat-sh*t-crazy, bat-sh*t-crazy. (in my house we call this Bronze Swimming Certificate behavior, but that's an obscure britcom reference). There can be a liberation to calling a spade a spade, at least to yourself and your support system. As long as you don't ensconce yourself on the moral high ground and reduce WAS to nothing *more* than Bronze Swimming Certificate.
Oh yes! I agree, Kett, and I get that. It's the vent. As long as....as you said...
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Dunno. I don't think it means nothing when your spouse reveals deep wounds to you; I think it means a lot. Ultimately, though, how can that be enough?
Definitely not enough. But a brave start for her.
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She's just not the only one hurting here, and frankly, unless she can articulate that in a big-girl way -- NOT just with reference to how guilty it makes her feel -- she's not ready to come back.
She definitely needs to Big Girl Up. She has behaved badly and has much to answer for. However, in IMHO, if SP is done, then be done and stop raking her over the coals. If he's not done, sees a sliver of light, then walk through and out of the pain with her and let go of her throat.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
