Old "newbie" needs help FAST!!! Please respond!!

[ginab1966]

Hi there...it's Friday night...how are you hanging in there? The weekend's here and DD is sick with double ear infection and fever and just plain miserable. I've been away on business the past few days in Pittsburgh and felt so guilty about leaving her. I got to spend the whole evening with her though, dinner together just her and me at the table. She dined on fruit salad and mashed potatoes and I had eggs and toast (it's cold here and I like b-fast for dinner on cold nights). Then bath time and now she's tucked in watching Stuart Little to fall asleep. She is just the most precious thing. Guess what? I go to CoDA meetings on Friday nights usually and she says to me the other day "Momma, why do you go to meetings alot?" and I said "Honey, momma goes to these meetings so I can be the best momma I possibly can and the best person I can be". She looks me dead in the eyes and says "Momma, then you don't have to go to those meetings and leave me home anymore. You're already the best momma EVER and you can only be you momma..You are just fine the way you are" This out of the mouth of a 4 year old. She saves my life every day. This is why I am committed. This is why I fight for the love of a man that mearly tolerates me. She deserves it.

I hope you are hanging in there and she's not being too disrespectful to you. I read something in one of my CoDA books on the plane last night...."We teach people how to treat us". When I accept disrespect, I get disrespected. When I accept being treated like I"m an old shoe that's being tossed aside, I become that old shoe. That doesn't even mean we need to confront them. We just have to change the dynamic. Become lovingly detached. Start to let go of her by grabbing on to yourself. I'm going to try this weekend and see if I can.

Have a good one. Peace to you and the kids...Gina B