Well this has been a rough week. I was out of the country earlier in the week and called home while kids were in school to leave a msg to let everyone know I got there, etc. I had texted the W a couple of times as well with no response. When I called, she unexpectedly answered the phone, and basically gave me the "why are you calling?" attitude and defensive in a weird way.

I thought about this quite a bit during the trip and on the long flight back. In the past I always looked forward to seeing her and the kids on the way home from an overseas trip, even when we werent' getting along at times. This time I realized that while I have the kids to look forward to, I have no W. It struck me and was a lonely empty feeling.

When I got home she was in a strange, foul mood. Colder and more distnat than normal and very defensive. I smelled OM all over the place for whatever reason.

Today she got angry with me because I asked her who she was going training with in the morning as she walked out the door in workout clothes. She got mad. I then made comments about her and OM. She replied with "You just don't get it. Its over. I just don't got it for you anymore. I want to leave"

I responded with if she wants to leave I won't stand int he way, but lets talk about how she could do it. I told her she needed to step up and work more to pay rent at another place. She wanted us to rent a place and each alternate leaving and I said no, this is HER show and she needed to step up and take action to implement it.

I told her I would continue to pay for her car, car/insurance and health insurance if she left but that she had to cover her own other living expenses.

She then said she wanted us to just sell our house and buy two smaller ones. The kids will adjust, etc etc.

I told her it is dumb to sell the house in this market - she could easily work more and pay rent for a while until we decided to sell down the road and allow the kids to stay here longer. She also has other money that is her own she could tap into if she wanted.

It was an emotional day for both of us. I know the only chance there is for us to stay together is to let her go. Maybe she will leave, or maybe she won't at this point. Either way it is no way to live - this has been going on for a year and it is hard living with someone who is just here for the kids with no signs of turning things around.

Today is my S's 18th birthday. It is so sad that this is hanging over our family. It is going to be an interesting time these upcoming weeks.

Last edited by tryingtilDorR; 10/03/09 12:22 AM.
ME/XW:47
S21, D19, S15, S14
M:21 T:26
W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12
W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline