So, I have been maintaining my 'radio silence' for a couple weeks now. Don't answer WAW's calls. If she leaves a message and it requires a response I call or text her back. If it's just informational I don't need to respond.
It helps me to detach. When we do talk, I keep it short. I try to keep a neutral voice. This is my 180, previously I tried the 'friendly' thing and all it did was allow her to not have to feel like getting divorced was actually hurting anybody. I tried 'angry' also, hoping it would help me deal with my feelings but I really didn't like how it felt. So detached and neutral is working better - for me. I do think it's bothering her but I really don't care.
I've gotten a few 'odd' calls from her (she leaves a message). Yesterday she called to tell me that she got a call from our health insurance company regarding the application she filled out to lower the rate (I pay our health insurance). She had forgotten to check her language of choice (English) so they called her to get that info. Why she had to call me to tell me that was a mystery.
Today though, she called to tell me that D14's counselor wanted her to know that she had finally made a 'breakthrough' and was talking about her anger about this whole situation. WAW thought this was good because D14 would start healing and be able to accept the divorce better. She just doesn't get it.
D14 has been really upbeat when she's around me. Divorce hurts kids though. I wish I could stop this but I can't. All I can do is take care of myself, so I can be there for them.
