And don't even say beat out the younger, hotter, richer, more available girlfriend...(unless you have a how with that)...;)
Million dollar question isn't it?
If you can't beat them, join them. Let go, allow them to live their life, open the cage and let the bird fly free. Deal with the emotions of having to let go and then prepare to move on with your life. Spend time with friends & family, start dating again just to see what the rest of the world is really like and maybe just maybe learn to love someone else. Impossible to comprehend at this point but maybe something you will consider in due time.
I don't know what to do now.
Seriously in my own situation, after the dynamic changes and things start to move in your direction, things plateau a bit, push/pull starts to re-appear, similar issues start to surface again and although the intentions are there to do the right thing, intentions aren't good enough, maybe my expectations are high (but the trick is how do you keep them low) and I'm seriously getting tired of this process and I'm asking myself daily why I'm doing any of this and I can't say my feelings are wrong, they are what they are. Maybe we've changed so much that we start to figure our own value in the equation and the other party doesn't look as good anymore, maybe we don't match up anymore, my perception of things is changing.
I have no preconceived notions about any of this, I know it requires work. There is nothing wrong with admitting that this is work and that there will be problems, the problem is thinking there is no problems and it won't require work, that isn't realistic.
But... after a while the batteries need to be recharged the existing charging station isn't doing as good a job as we used to think.
Today H emailed me that he had arrived at his friend's house in France. Told me what they had been doing.
Don't understand why H is doing this. I don't think it is just practical because he didn't give me a phone number where he could be reached for something urgent.
I didn't reply to his last email and I don't see any reason to reply to this one. Anyone see it differently?
- nope don't reply, he will email again when he doesn't see a reply, and then he will email again and then he will phone.
Create a vacuum, make space between you & him (and not the geograhical distance type space), if he's emailing you, he will expect a response, I guarantee it and you won't give it to him. It will make him curious, going dark isn't easy but no contact tends to make people very curious.
start dating again just to see what the rest of the world is really like and maybe just maybe learn to love someone else. Impossible to comprehend at this point but maybe something you will consider in due time.
I am dating but I can't seem to manage that they all want to just get laid and since I certainly am not looking to fall in love pre-divorce, well, it is nerve-wracking.
It is NOT impossible for me to comprehend loving someone else...chemicals, energy, time...it happens. But not where I'm at now...jesus I'm the hot mess.
start dating again just to see what the rest of the world is really like and maybe just maybe learn to love someone else. Impossible to comprehend at this point but maybe something you will consider in due time.
I am dating but I can't seem to manage that they all want to just get laid and since I certainly am not looking to fall in love pre-divorce, well, it is nerve-wracking.
It is NOT impossible for me to comprehend loving someone else...chemicals, energy, time...it happens. But not where I'm at now...jesus I'm the hot mess.
Sorry for the hijack.
maybe embrace your sexuality (be safe of course) and get laid too ;-)
Mind you I'm not sure how that will work out either LOL!
start dating again just to see what the rest of the world is really like and maybe just maybe learn to love someone else. Impossible to comprehend at this point but maybe something you will consider in due time.
I am dating but I can't seem to manage that they all want to just get laid and since I certainly am not looking to fall in love pre-divorce, well, it is nerve-wracking.
It is NOT impossible for me to comprehend loving someone else...chemicals, energy, time...it happens. But not where I'm at now...jesus I'm the hot mess.
Sorry for the hijack.
maybe embrace your sexuality (be safe of course) and get laid too ;-)
Mind you I'm not sure how that will work out either LOL!
Ya, 14 years out of the scene and I'm a little rusty. I mean I made out with someone and now my heart palpates every time he texts. But he's another hot mess. (words for the week..."hot mess")
Plus is there really "safe sex"...with people you don't know so well? I dunno.
Have me arrested here for hijacking but I guess the focus needs to be on something other than OP...but that is ultra tough when one's spouse is "in love"...barf.
Seriously in my own situation, after the dynamic changes and things start to move in your direction, things plateau a bit, push/pull starts to re-appear, similar issues start to surface again and although the intentions are there to do the right thing, intentions aren't good enough, maybe my expectations are high (but the trick is how do you keep them low) and I'm seriously getting tired of this process and I'm asking myself daily why I'm doing any of this and I can't say my feelings are wrong, they are what they are. Maybe we've changed so much that we start to figure our own value in the equation and the other party doesn't look as good anymore, maybe we don't match up anymore, my perception of things is changing.
I have no preconceived notions about any of this, I know it requires work.
Wow. That's the first time I've seen someone else articulate what I'm feeling. I don't question things every day but I do question whether or not I want this R to make it.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
But, what do I want? I don't wanna fall in love, but I want to be romanced?
That makes perfect sense to me. During my single time I said I was giving up relationships, not giving up men! It's not too much to want to have some romance leading up to the roll in the hay. Don't settle for less than that. I know it's harder to find genuine people in LaLaLand, but there must be a few lurking around.
Originally Posted By: Dudess
Today H emailed me that he had arrived at his friend's house in France. Told me what they had been doing.
Don't understand why H is doing this. I don't think it is just practical because he didn't give me a phone number where he could be reached for something urgent.
I didn't reply to his last email and I don't see any reason to reply to this one. Anyone see it differently?
He's trying to find out what you're up to. You didn't provide him with the details he was seeking last time so he's trying again. Agree with robx, do not respond. His curiosity will grow.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I reckon he's emailing you to get a reaction, to test the temperature of Dudess' waters (ooer that sounds a bit wrong doesn't it?).
I think some of these men in our lives are being selfish and when they don't get the reaction they think they should (ie extra attention), they start doing things to try and get that attention. The problem is that it seems that the attention seeking behaviour is just that. It doesn't seem to be behaviour from a person that cares how another person feels. It's still selfish - they are just masking it with sympathy/faked interest.
Very childish and f***g rollercoaster-ish.
Gotta take d to soccer. Sleep well friend.
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
It's not too much to want to have some romance leading up to the roll in the hay. Don't settle for less than that. I know it's harder to find genuine people in LaLaLand, but there must be a few lurking around.