I think it is true that once this initial pain is over, that getting off the eggshells will allow me to concentrate more on myself and the kids. As much as I can try to do that now, it is always in the back of my mind how H will view what I do. Like a chess match is always being played.
My best friend told me I'm a big, fat loser (or that is how H will view me) and a pushover for letting him stay here the next two weeks. I just keep having that run through my head. I see the danger in other's advice, they see your pain and react to it. I don't want to be a pushover, but I don't want to be the one who forces him to leave, it needs to be his decision. I want to continue to honor my vows, even in this horrible time.
