Is it time to go gucci?

[Dudess]

you enjoy the pursuit,

Of course I enjoy being pursued. Is there a woman who doesn't?

the real question is do you want to be honest with yourself & your spouse and say "hey the relationship we had didn't work, can we be adult, put our cards on the table, say EXACTLY what we want from each other and work towards this goal which would be one of many goals we would work on together and create a relationship that is lasting & mutually rewarding & fulfilling?"

So you would rather be pursued and generate excessive drama rather than resolving your issues? He pushes, you push back. He stops pursuing, so you stop pursuing too. You spend alot of time analyzing his emails and what you think he might be thinking about you and the marriage.

I don't see pursuit and dealing with issues as mutually exclusive. I said I enjoy being pursued, not that I enjoy "excess drama". Not sure where you got that.

Yeah, I spend waaay to much time trying to figure out what he is thinking.

Is any of this about resolving your marriage issues & being honest with each other?

Not at the moment obviously. He is not interested in resolving issues and being honest right now.

...I do want a mutually rewarding relationship, but I sure wouldn't want to say the stuff you quoted. I got bored just reading it. I don't want a relationship that puts me to sleep and feels more like work than fun.

So you want a fantasy instead of reality.
You want it to be perfect.
It won't be perfect with him or anyone else.
Fantasy is just that, fantasy.
Real life, real problems, all require work, and working on it can suck but anything worth the price is worth the effort.

It won't be perfect with him or anyone else.
Fantasy is just that, fantasy.
Real life, real problems, all require work, and working on it can suck but anything worth the price is worth the effort.

A relationship where you have fun with your spouse, go out, vacation, laugh together, in addition to handling the details of domestic life, is not fantasy. It is the reality of most of the relationships I have seen.

I know that relationships are imperfect and require effort. IMO, it is my H who does not comprehend this and is thus off in fantasy land.