A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

<popping up for air while grumbling about her 60-hour week>

So H came home earlier than expected from his game night with the work buddies.

He was *very* cuddly and affectionate. I was pretty well wiped after the week I've had but even so, I was up for the cuddling. It was an odd night. Good - but odd. We very literally spent the whole night alternately snuggling, going right up to the edge of LM then backing off, lightly dozing and having a very intimate R talk all the while.

Highlights from the R talk:

We talked about LL - conceptually as he has not read it. He agrees his primary is probably Physical Touch. Told him mine was QT.

He APOLOGIZED for ignoring me, both past and present.

We discussed the whole 'what are we going to do about STDs?' thing.

I mentioned the "Love you" comment this morning to see if it made him uncomfortable. He said it does add a bit of pressure, but he *loves* hearing it.

He said outright that he has not made up his mind 'where this all is going' yet. I told him that was ok, I already knew that and am fine with it. I won't pressure him or pitch fits.

Pursuant to the above, I explained that when I came up here, I decided that if these were the last days I was ever going to spend with him, I was going to savor and enjoy them. He said that was very brave of me.

He marvelled over and thanked me for how affectionate I've been and my emotional generosity. He apologized that he hasn't reciprocated to the same degree. I said it was ok; I understood why.

He continues to rave over the floral arrangement a few nights ago, with hints that he'd like more.

He said that he was sure I hadn't come up here with a goal of inveigling my way back into his life but I was doing a d@mn good job of it regardless. I didn't correct him.

We hit my goal of making out like teenagers. Next goal is full-on LM as we've exhausted all of the preliminaries and their variations.

There were about bajillion of the three-squeeze ILYs flying around, but no actual words.

He was MUCH more affectionate in the morning than he usually is, including lots of loving gazes into my eyes,. He may not be saying the words, but ever fiber of his being is saying them for him.