riding the big roller coaster...

[LuLu]

I'm sending you hugs because it sounds like you need them right now. You really just need to focus on you right now. What if he did ask for a divorce tomorrow? What would you do? How would your future be? Picture the worst case scenario and prepare for it. That is where the GAL'ing and 180's come into play. If you prepare for the worst, you know you will be okay. You will survive. You must survive, if not for you then for your children. Be strong. After realizing that you will actually be okay, then you can focus on you and start to detach from H.

You're doing pretty good so far. But here are a few things that you might can do better.

I offered him coffee, but he said he had already had some. Then they left. I decided to go grocery shopping and notice that H was driving back from Starbucks (geez, won't take my coffee but will take my $100 and go to Starbucks. Nice).

I have to say this, don't offer him coffee! You are moving on without him remember? Also, stop rescuing him. You are a fixer like me but you have to let him fall. Don't offer him bailout money. Don't let him have his cake and eat it too. Bottom line, don't do anything for him any more.

I went out with friends from about 5:00 PM until 3:00 AM... had a fun time. Called H around bedtime and said goodnight to the girls. He then proceeds to tell me that the funniest thing happened to him and that he ran into an old friend's aunt at his apartments - (huh, all I can think is - great now more of our old friends know that you moved out and left us).

This is great GAL'ing! The only thing that could have been better is if you cut him off and said you had to go. Your only purpose was to say goodnight to the girls not to have small talk with H. You are one busy, fun loving girl that is moving on!

Interestingly enough, H called back 1/2 hour later to have youngest d say goodnight - again. Makes me wonder if he was a little curious about my whereabouts.

Next time let it go to voice mail.

That night, I texted him... "hope the girls went right to sleep for you, thanks for calling".

This is not 180'ing, lol. Try to not initiate any more contact at all. Let him come to you.

OW called his cell at about 9:00 while we were talking and H didn't answer. Awkward. I just don't get the feeling that he has any ANY regrets about his choices. He told me last night that he ran into another friend of ours and told her that we had separated. He left a few minutes after that. Same ole same ole.

I think that's a positive thing actually, as weird as that may sound. She wasn't the priority right at that moment which is good. It also shows that he still has some respect for you.