Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Berto, I like the friend plan. I need to try that. Just treat him that way. And I have to get that book, a bunch of people have recommended it. I took a look at it a year ago, but it wasn't applicable.
Disney was wonderful, sad, exhausting and everything in between. Had to wait an hour for a rental car (they didn't have the convertible ready, either, so we got a SUV for the night) and then it took 1/2 hour to check in. We were safely in bed at 2 am, the kids were great considering, and I did fine dragging everything around.
I noticed there were no single families at Disney. Every person was a 2 parent unit, so there was some real feeling sorry for myself (when we drove by hotels we had stayed at and realizing I woulnd't be able to ever afford them) and simple dread of doing this all on my own, being lonely without an adult or H to share it with. I was sad that I never really laughed, but then thought that was quite normal for what I'm going through, and that at this point having smiles is good. We'll aim for laughter further down the road.
I need to be thankful for what I do have, two little boys who were real troopers and there was only minimal missing Dad and why are you here and Dad has to work type stuff.
H would call once a day to check in with that I really don't want to be talking to you, but feel obligated to call type voice.
I tried not to complain, but he caught me at a bad moment one time after S7 had just pooped his pants because he was sick, couldn't open the door to the room fast enough (he had run back from the car, as I was dealing with getting s4 out of his car seat, so I couldn't be as quick as he needed) and poor S7 was crying and then H called right after I got it all cleaned up and we were going to the park and the boys couldn't sit somewhere as we needed another adult and some grandpa helped me out, so I was a bit frazzled and he then left another message saying sorry to bother me!
I chit chatted the whole way home about our vacation, tyring to share things with him. He did tell me he told his boss to take him off the promotion list, that he and I were considering separating and he needs to stay here. The boss was shocked, told him what ever he needs or wants. But I was annoyed, WE are thinking about it? He can't come out and say he is walking out on his family. I didn't question it, just listened.
I only cried twice at Disney, and both times it was because of the kindess of strangers helping me instead of my own H.
He is still here, I don't know when he is leaving. He did go to IKEA and get some shelves and stuff for the new place. I don't know if I should push him or not about a date.
