Thanks, you guys are so sweet! My biggest fear is crying in the middle of a park!
But, on the bright side, we are going to do Mickey's not so scary Halloween party (never have done, boys get to dress up and trick or treat in the park) and I just called Universal Studios and Nickolodean will be in production on the day I want to visit! Yeah, I'll be a hero and our credit card will be severely damaged.
So, doing some new things. My own memories. So pictures for my NEW scrapbook.
No tears! Will say goodbye to H at airport and try not to cry. His loss. Big loss. Big fool. But, his decision.
Keep this in mind, Jackie. Take one day at a time, one hour at a time if you need to!
You do creative memories? I would love to start this! Keep wishing we lived closer!
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Jackie, I hope you have a great time. I want to hear all about your scrapbook pages. Making some new memories. Planning to use some of the C.M. Disney stuff?
You're handling all of this well. And so what if you cry in the park?? You can just say you are so happy to see Mickey!! I know if I hear that "It's a small world" thing, I always get teared up. I'm a sap.
Leaving you some hugs {{{{Jackie}}}}
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
Hope Disney is great - we took our son there when he was 4 - great time - magical for them at that age.
By the way - have you read "Getting Back Together"? It is a book about separation and why it is a must for building a new relationship. thought it may good vacation reading material....just a thought (I am SO SURE you will have plenty of reading time with 2 rugrats to chase after all day )
Have a great time. You will be so busy and it will be so special that you and the kids will have memories of being together and having fun. Your H will definately feel left out and he should. I think the reality of not capturing those memories as a father will sink in.
Your moving forward, showing your H you can do it and that takes alot of courage, strength and faith!!! Have an awesome time!!!!!
Hope you had an awesome time with the kids, they will remember this trip forever and have you to thank for it. You have them lined up for an awesome time it looks.
The S from your H will do you good, you have to show your H why he M you in the first place. A trick I learned to keep from going emotional with my W was to just treat her like a friend. I figured that all my friends liked me, give your H the same Jackie your friends get. It works for me, especially if I start to get teary eyed, completely changes my tune in front of W.
You will get through it, this trial we are going through is very tuff but as you can see around you, you are not alone and everyone is pulling for you.
I think that since you are now a "Single" mom, you should treat yourself to a new look. Do some unJackie things for a pick me up, it also makes your H start to wonder if he did the right thing, he'll keep a closer eye on you. Why not? Make him see the new you, the "Changed Jackie" he was referring to. Make him chase you!
((((((((((((((((Jackie)))))))))))))))))
Berto
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts,that laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death
Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Berto, I like the friend plan. I need to try that. Just treat him that way. And I have to get that book, a bunch of people have recommended it. I took a look at it a year ago, but it wasn't applicable.
Disney was wonderful, sad, exhausting and everything in between. Had to wait an hour for a rental car (they didn't have the convertible ready, either, so we got a SUV for the night) and then it took 1/2 hour to check in. We were safely in bed at 2 am, the kids were great considering, and I did fine dragging everything around.
I noticed there were no single families at Disney. Every person was a 2 parent unit, so there was some real feeling sorry for myself (when we drove by hotels we had stayed at and realizing I woulnd't be able to ever afford them) and simple dread of doing this all on my own, being lonely without an adult or H to share it with. I was sad that I never really laughed, but then thought that was quite normal for what I'm going through, and that at this point having smiles is good. We'll aim for laughter further down the road.
I need to be thankful for what I do have, two little boys who were real troopers and there was only minimal missing Dad and why are you here and Dad has to work type stuff.
H would call once a day to check in with that I really don't want to be talking to you, but feel obligated to call type voice.
I tried not to complain, but he caught me at a bad moment one time after S7 had just pooped his pants because he was sick, couldn't open the door to the room fast enough (he had run back from the car, as I was dealing with getting s4 out of his car seat, so I couldn't be as quick as he needed) and poor S7 was crying and then H called right after I got it all cleaned up and we were going to the park and the boys couldn't sit somewhere as we needed another adult and some grandpa helped me out, so I was a bit frazzled and he then left another message saying sorry to bother me!
I chit chatted the whole way home about our vacation, tyring to share things with him. He did tell me he told his boss to take him off the promotion list, that he and I were considering separating and he needs to stay here. The boss was shocked, told him what ever he needs or wants. But I was annoyed, WE are thinking about it? He can't come out and say he is walking out on his family. I didn't question it, just listened.
I only cried twice at Disney, and both times it was because of the kindess of strangers helping me instead of my own H.
He is still here, I don't know when he is leaving. He did go to IKEA and get some shelves and stuff for the new place. I don't know if I should push him or not about a date.
)