MIL said something about 'putting things aside' to inform me to consider D6's outburst against STBXW as some possible prodrome. Odd...I medically think it may be the opposite: maybe her harsh treatment and stress......
I agree. Perhaps you should tell MIL this or at least tell another physician on the case so maybe THEY can tell STBX? Or tell the child advocate or your lawyer?
Thanks 25 and Frank. Follow up pedi appt the next day showed a red throat so he feels this still comes under the category of febrile seizure related to viral causes. She is supposed to outgrow this. D6 needs an MRI and EEG in the ensuing week or so.
Things are quiet in the house right now. STBXW spends all her time studying now which I LOVE (more time with the kids). Unfortunately, nothing is getting done in the house. I did four loads of laundry this weekend and I am folding as best I can amongst other chores.
No follow up yet from the L's re: a final rough draft of the settlement. It's only been a week. STBXW is doing the scheduling for the tests for D6.
It's amazing that...after all this time..all the papers filed...all the angst...all the crap required by the State of NY to inflict anger on your spouse...it still all comes down to a financial settlement and custody agreement. It all in a sense means nothing (I guess...unless it went to trial). You can be a loving, caring excellent father and not have to be:
at every well-child visit
at every practice, meeting, etc
at every shower and bath
Whereas my STBXW photographed me if the kids came into the bedroom w hile I slept, there was D6 sleeping next to her this morning.
It's all BS.
Finally, STBXW has now changed religions again, I think for the 5th or 6th time. NOW...she is demanding time on the holidays with them, even went to services yesterday and read from the prayer books and kissed the Torah. She was wearing a cross only days ago. In a 'normal' situation, I would be ecstatic to see that she is encouraging the kids spiritual growth and desiring to be a part of it. In reality, it is MY opinion (FH, I hope you'll now understand), that she is feigning this to avoid losing time with the kids and will return to the status quo after the settlement is signed.
? Stable judgement?
I think not.
Confusing to the kids?
Absolutely.
Acting in good faith?
Not at all.
I continue to be a good father and give STBXW space and a wide berth.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB who the hell knows what your w is thinking/doing/believing today at this hour...or tonight? But let me hazard one guess and that is...she is one lost puppy.
good God...I don't quite pity her b/c of "my anger issues" with her but there is a part of me that thinks she is just around the corner from a big brick wall called reality and she's going to slam right into it...I don't want to be in her blast zone when that happens. You have to be ready b/c in my mind she can go one of two ways, given the anger she's shown in the past--she could go full blown tornado crazy mad and hurl out anything to hurt OR, OR, she could fall apart and show up on your doorstep sobbing and reeling from her awakening...if she has one.
Your sitch is unique (no, I don't think this comment applies to others situations) but I think it's a real poss for you. Be careful and be ready for anything. Get your acting skills ready too, so you don't look too shocked at either course of action. But...there is a day coming that this will be over and done with, at least this part of it which I think is the hardest part. Why? Despite the consequences of a split family, you won't be in her blast zone. That counts for something. You'll see.
(SIGH) and again, (Sigh) ((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
One thing to be somewhat concerned with once you are both living apart is her behavior around the kids. Her opportunity to find a good man will be limited if her anger problems persist. Will she take extreme caution and not expose the kids to a revolving door of degenerate men? This was a concern of mine early on before my X moved in with old man Ed, who is a good guy to the kids.
Thanks Kalni. I'm doing fine right now. As above, we have these 'calm zones'. STBXW is too engrossed with her school now which is a plus for me since she goes to her mother's house to do her work and papers (or does she?). I enjoy the time and peace.
Back to school is tough:
S9 has religious school on M and W afternoons. I have dedicated those 2 hours on Wed's to my daughter, "daddy/daughter" time. D6 gets to call the shots (to a degree, lol)
Tues' I am running S9 to a fall baseball instructional league and it is 30-45 mins away.
Fri is D6's soccer practice and games are on Sat
I am doing S9's sax practice daily; STBXW does D6's piano
As I come down to the wire, I still have my moments of sadness for the demise of my marriage and the impending loss of our home and the division of the children. However, I also see more clearly the personality issues my STBXW has. In retrospect, my STBXW was hurt deeply as a child...she was bullied...and her parents ran to her defense. This is ongoing. I am in agreement with my IC that, once she became unhappy, I was stratified...categorized..into good/bad. Once placed into the bad category, I became a bully..just like she faced on the schoolbus in her past. She is unable to move past this, even in trying to achieve a coparenting position.
I long for this to be over. Ironically, I am looking forward to STBXW leaving. I don't look forward to coming home to an empty house or apt., but, I DO look forward to a new start. I will close down here following the signing of the agreement, whenever that comes about. Hopefully, this will happen before the trial date, Dec. 03.
This has dragged on TOO long: bomb May '06, filed 12/07, still under the same roof 10/09.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Dr. Oz show? lol. I should START a show of my OWN. It's amazing how one can become so famous and wealthy for BS. LOL. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Dr. Oz show? lol. I should START a show of my OWN. It's amazing how one can become so famous and wealthy for BS. LOL. FIB
Ain't that the truth? Well, since 12-4 is MY birthday, I would consider it a gift for your sitch to be OVER...you know, for ME....
Good luck, FIB, I want to have another reason to celebrate -so don't blow MY BIRTHDAY by still having this craziness around....sheesh.....it's the least you could do.
J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hey...weren't you supposed to meet me and FH in NYC 2 years ago for dinner? LOL. Too much pressure. Besides....I have not intention of spending the holidays in court. STBXW better be flexible.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
