Sounds like you are on the right track. If there is any chance for her to realize what she's lost, she's got to realize what she's lost. Right now, my wife hasn't realized that at all. It'll take time (the hardest thing I'm learning is patience).

Me: 35
W: 31
D10, S7, S2, S11 months
M: 11 years
Tricked into separation.
In Last Resort.

My story:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1800530#Post180053