z, you're right, he is the troubled one. Maybe this breathing room will allow him to search his own thoughts.
Sue & Kitti--I know that I can take this longer, it makes it a bit harder since I thought we were back on track, having fun and turning towards each other. But out comes the demons again.
Talked last night. He said he is afraid to talk to me, he thinks he will say the wrong thing and give me false hope. he has put the deposit on the townhome and will not go to Disney, will tell the kids he has to work and will pack while I'm gone.
He said we are different people now, we have aged, have different interests. I told him I was trying to hold my anger in check and be understanding, he looked at me with surprise that I could be angry with him. I told him I wanted to conduct myself in a manner that I could be proud of, he asked me if I thought I had done that this past year, and I said yes, for the most part, I had. He agreed. He even listed a bunch of ways that he was proud of my actions and said I was more loving and understanding than he deserved.
He kept going on we are different. Talked some logistics of children and having two separate homes. He wants to tell his parents and thinks I should tell mine at the same time. I said they are far enough away, they don't need to know and I'll make the choice when I'm ready, I want to prolong hurting them as much as possible. He went on about it his mom wants to call my mom, and I told him, tell her she can't. Seems simple to me!
Then he ends it later in bed, I still find you desirable! I think he was making advances, but I ignored them. Just couldn't do it.
So it is the boys and I off on a Orlando adventure. We leave tomorrow, so I probably should book some hotel rooms soon! Don't think he is going to change his mind now.
