Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[etrain]

This is the thread I should have posted the below listed comments on:

How are most PA's and EA's discovered? Is it because of the snooping of the spouse or do they slip or do the cheaters come to a realization that they were wrong and amdit it? If I confront the W one more time about an A there will be some serious consequences. Ive been treated as if I am the worst person ever for even asking. This is horrible because I trust her sincerity to me when she denies any PA or EA but this board sure makes it look like that is typical behavior for someone involved in an A. Best or not, I am still holding onto the hope and faith that she has been honest with me.

When women in EA's deny being involved in such, are they typically straight up lying to protect themselves, knowing that what they are doing is wrong or do they really believe what they are doing is innocent.

I suspect that any further suspicion on my part will kill the R.

I have all those same questions...but very few answers. Yes, I want to know if she's having an A so I'll know what I'm up against. But I need to be very careful. She's already furious about me reading her email & FB IM's a couple weeks ago. I really should have continued to gather more evidence instead of confronting her so soon...she barely uses our PC anymore because she's worried that I'm snooping.
If she's carrying on an A, she must be communicating through work email...which I'll never know about, or her cell...and cell records are easily deleted.
Short of hopping in my car (with our son) and following her when she tells me she's going somewhere, there's not much I can do to find out the truth. Asking her is pointless. She only gets defensive & angry.
Unless she really slips up or comes right out & tells me, I'm afraid I'll probably continue to be in the dark.