Hey guys--thanks for all the kinds thoughts and words of wisdom. Feeling a bit low, just tired and perplexed by the whole situation. H was horrible while my Ps were here. Hardly making conversation with them, always retreating to a different room. Bordering on rude. Also that way when we went to State College for the night. These are our friends who know the situation and he would barely speak. On the way home S7 got in trouble for not acknowledging when his brother spoke to him. I wanted to scream, look in the mirror!
After freezing through the first half of the PSU game, H left during the 4th quarter (when it was nice and sunny). Now, we have been going to PSU games for 17 years and never did we leave early or give up. He just left, I stayed with my parents, hoping they would win just to spite him, if not anything else, but met him downtown later. Just thought it highlighted everything going on in him--giving up, seeing the worst in every possible situation, not enjoying the camardire of just being in the stadium.
I haven't been pressing him. I try to make conversation, but get one word answers. Then he accusmes me of not saying what is on my mind and being fearful to talk to him.
He said tonight we need to talk about Disney. Then in the same breath he tells S4 and I we should go get a new tv for the playroom. Now why spend all that money if he is leaving and our budget is gonig to be streched tight.
I don't want him to leave, but I don't know how much I can live with this atmoshpere in the house. It is almost like he enjoys being miserable. He came home tonight, joked with the boys, when I walked in the kitchen, he turned, looked at me, and in the Eeyore type voice, said Oh, Hi.
I agree with what is being said about a S, a "time out". I think he has a huge guilt, once he does it, everyone will know. His image he has of himself and what others have of him, in his mind, will be shattered.
I'm finding it fairly easy to be detached, as I don't know if I have the energy to keep giving anymore. For how long can you hear that someone doesn't have "husband" feelings for you?
