Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Hi Peace. Good advice. It is easier to focus on the bad(b/c at times the "bad" seems to be pretty plentiful!) Its also easier to focus on the spouse and their journey rather than our own-so thanks for the reminder.

Journaling:
H went to sleep next to me last night without saying goodnight or kissing me, no ML-this isn't the norm so I felt a bit hurt..

This morning H got in the shower with me(again-not the norm) and asked me how I was. I said confused-b/c of no "goodnight" last night-said I didn't know what to make of it, if anything....Said I had missed being close. This was all said calmly and sincerely. So H leaves the shower-nothing like that for a response to asking for closeness... Arghhhh. This morning we have marriage counseling too.

I feel likes there are more ups and downs than usual-not sure if that means anything. just makes me more discouraged. I'm having a hard time finding a nonemotional, calm center for myself. I think I expect 'the other shoe to drop" and although I know I'll be fine if our marriage ends-it'll feel like I failed somehow.