(1) Though certain patterns may tend to break along male/female lines, this does not mean that this will always be the case (nor should it). Genitals don't dictate a "proper" or "natural" role in a M. People vary in the kind of role they want to play in a romantic R. It is important not to let generalities turn into "shoulds." (Though, personally, I too go for a strong swarthy manly man, lol, this does not mean that I would be defective if I preferred a less alpha-male type. Basically, my point is that sex doesn't dictate the proper distribution of gender characteristics in romantic Rs.)
(2) I too have never seen "fawning, ingratiating and supplicating" work either. But this goes for LBHs and LBWs. A needy, spineless, doormat without any clear sense of self who lacks boundaries simply isn't an attractive partner, man or woman.
(3) If anything, dating "works" for women even better than men (but that is just in general, lol).
(4) When dating to try to save your M, a person uses the datee. Not nice.
(5) I think the two biggest reasons that dating works are that (a) It moves the LBS out of "fawning, ingratiating and supplicating" mode and (b) it creates some real space in the R by taking the pressure off the WAS. Both of these things may be accomplished without dating others, but dating helps the LBS pull it off because they are then looking outside the M (but not necessarily from within) for certain kinds of validation, etc, rather than continuing to try to get their needs met by WAS. Thus, a big part of the effectiveness of dating is that it serves as a therapeutic crutch for the LBS that helps the LBS truly detach from the WAS. But, there is the problem of (4).
