The 'success' in healing our marriage is not mine. If we succeed, it is because my W conquered her illness. She has more to do with our success than I. I say this because you shouldn't measure your success by the health of the marriage. The health of your marriage is entirely in your W hands and you have absolutely no control over it right now. It is not your fault if your W never seeks help.
Your backup plan sounds great. What are you planning on studying?
Finally, your disagreement with your IC seems a petty reason to halt counseling. I often find myself arguing with my IC over the same thing. I think he does it to help me realize what I am giving up by not releasing my W. Which I find healthy, it is good to be aware of that in the moment. You have to decide if the marriage is worth fighting for and it needs to be reassessed periodically. Yesterday I was talking about my W and got to the point "I just need to figure out how..." and stopped. My IC said go on finish it. I realized that I have not been able to finish that phrase "I just need to figure out how much I am willing to put up with." He helped me process what I am willing to put up with and it is clear I am not there yet.
Anyway good luck with everything. I will keep checking in.
