Tristan, I know this is all a struggle, but I agree with the others who've said this is a good thing, the way your W is reacting. Frankly, due to the mental health issues involved, I would be a LOT more worried if she had broken down and said, oh, I was so bad, just let me come home....and just came flying back in the door thinking all is well.
I think her behavior shows how seriously she is taking this, and that she DOESN'T want to simply "react" to her feelings. I think it shows a lot of growth and hope. Don't forget Tristan, while you're dealing with the fallout of her bipolar sitch, etc, she is the one living it. That's a heavy burden I would imagine. I have to look back at my own sitch and it's a sickening feeling to see how out of control parts of it were.
This is in no way meant to discount your feelings and your suffering through what she's done..and I think the reason your IC keeps mentioning anger that haven't felt yet, is because he knows you will at some point. This I also relate to...when my H finally started to come around and the tension level decreased at home, and it began to feel "safe" then my anger bloomed up big time. It's tough. Because he's trying, and he has issues, and, and, and....and well, what about me?? Does this mean he gets a free pass? That's how it feels. So at least you have someone to help you get through those feelings so you don't torpedo the ship later.
Anyway, one step at a time. I just wrote this so you could take courage and hope from what's happening. Hang in there.
