Like everything it takes practice to stay up longer. You'll find things that work for you.
After all this time, (and really it isn't all that long in the scheme of things) I still slip and sometimes land square on my face. What's easier is getting up and moving forward. Not striving for perfection, just grace.
longstory short,dinner with kids,wife walked in,went about her stuff left room came back in,that's when i said hi,like ur hair and went back to kid stuff,went round block with D. Wife knew I was at house,S texted her,my truck was running outside with lites on,etc. For someone wanting space and stuff why'd she do that? I don't think she said anything back and i didn't look into her eyes, more the side of her head as i was pouring a glass of milk for kids. NO I DIDN'T EAT the dinner,I sat and talked to the kids.
But,She walked in on kids and i having dinner at a table and doing hwork,she never saw that before.that was for me something i wanted to do!
Secondly,going to leave don't see her new car.D says getting fixed.My D has asthma and wife had to take to her to Eroom two wks ago and takes kids to school,what about work!!!besides i don't know what she paid for that car,but if u buy a new car and it needs to be fixed in a wk,u should give a customer a car!!!!
Anyway I went got the car she no longer wanted and dropped in dway,texted D and S, not a gift to mom,other dship should've given her a car they can kiss my butt:)(FOR JACK),what if an emergency,keys in ignition.
No she didn't ask for help from me,but really what if they needed a car, not a control thing, the right thing.
other odd thing going to leave another neighbor hollars at me,i don't go into much detail and of course she mentions affair W having with neighbor,I said listen not telling u much,yes they have friendship and it's our deal to figure out,i'm ok and getting better.These neighbors both say,ur wife is crazy mo's ago she said how much u lv her and put kids first and this nieghbor i'm talking too is twice divorced first marriage was 24yrs and she's almost quoting the Do's of DBing if ur dealing with a WAS and how she messed up and wanted first hubby back, in front of new hubby, poor guy.
Said not like that wife is great lady going thru things dropped a bomb and i'm doing my stuff and wanting to be with kids,told you too much now drop it.She and husband hugged me and told me stuff i already knew 'bout myself and what they been seeing,again told 'em I'm fine.
Anyway saw wife walk over to the EA neighbor and for the first time ever i didn't care!
I miss her bad,if i could take her pain on myself i would,like all of you would for your spouses.
THREE THINGS make me feel good right now,ME,MY KIDS AND YOU GUYS. What is emotional support????I was told I never offered that by wife right after the bomb.Please tell me what that means,I thought i offered it,but "intentions are different than the result." Quote wk after the bomb.
knew she wouldn't drive the car, i picked it up. no biggie, wouldn't have dropped it off, if D didn't have her isssues.
checked mail,put it inside house,tore off part of envelope so i'd know how much phone bill was so i could pay it,i'm not looking at numbers called pages or anything,didn't want to.THE BILL IS IN HER NAME,but my cell is on the acct too.
i think i realized i'm not mad at her, i'm mad at the crisis,make sense?
i feel good.
did notice when throwing bills in house,my greatest dad on earth trophy is no where in sight and i had a box with momentos in it,that's been rifled thru with family pics missing.
oh well have the pics in my mind and don't need a trophy to know i'm a good dad.
