Newly Separated and Heartbroken

[ALJ]

Well, I have decided not to acknowledge our anniversary and I am sure h won't either. I will spend the day with my girls and then go to church in the evening. I did get a chance to see H facebook page today. My cousin is on his friends list and she can view his page anytime. From what I saw, it looks like he is looking for female companionship. For his relationship status he has "Its complicated" and that he is interested in "women". I looked thru his pictures and didnt really see anything incriminating.

I looked at his page because I really wanted to see what was going on with him. I have no access to his phone or e-mail so facebook was the only option to get information about another woman, if there is one. I don't think he is having an PA but he might be having an EA which can lead to a PA. I am thinking that maybe he wants to see if he can start a relationship with someone else and if it doesn't work out then he will want to work on the marriage and us. Or maybe he is really gone from our marriage for good. Who knows? Everything is so confusing and contradictory in my mind and I have to figure out what it is that I want. I am certainly not going to file papers or anything like that but how long am I willing to wait for this madness to end?