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Wow, with all the wisdom on this board, who needs therapists?

When I first found this bb, after one week I got more out of this board than I did out of two months worth of sessions, so decided to "fire" my C! Never went back. Of course, the main reason was the session quickly became "what's best to protect yourself" and none of it was solution-based in a pro-M format.

I'm having a hard time drawing the connection between H's decision not to go to Disney because you're planning a trip to Germany over the season break? ... but that's his issue. The point he seems to be missing is it will be one more missed oppurtunity to enjoy some wholesome good fun with the kids.

You're H is definately mired in the deepest mirk of his turmoil. Its one of the hardest things to do ... it is going to take a lot of effort to remain lovingly detached and stay on the sidelines while your H grasps desperately at every unsupported notion as why he is bogged down and can't pull himself out of it. It seems to go against all instincts, but you have to let him find his own way out.

The sense of walking on eggshells comes from your desire to give support, but knowing there will be times when he will refuse it. When he does turn away your support, accept that it ... become OK with it because you made the attempt to be supportive (afterall if he doesn't take it, its his loss, not yours) ... shrug it off ... and redirect your attention back to yourself and kids. This should help reduce the amount of "cracked eggs" some.

'til later,
KAW