@polly: You want to save you M , you have to help her.

Probably. And someday in the future, distant or not-too-, I'm sure I'll regret this.

But I can't rescue her this time. @Kettricken is right -- she's got to figure out she's already dead. She's got to do the work.

I trust nothing. She will say or do anything. I see no changes greater than she apologized for cheating. She still flips out. She still attacks. She still takes everything personally. She still puts forth the proposition that it's all MY fault. She still revises history to her own purposes, even if "history" is 6 hours ago.

I mean, last week she was dragging the kids into the Grownup World. She was threatening them that their close friends' mother was "trying to get your Daddy a girlfriend."

She deposited $50,000 in my checking account -- "a paltry amount for all you've put up with" -- and then 2 days later transferred it back out -- "I'm getting off the Crazy Train."

She told her L to accept ANY offer my L made and then a day later told the L to accept NO offer and not to make ANY offer.

She asked me why I didn't reply to her email offering to suspend the D paperwork with the court. I told her I got no such email. "Oh, I must just have been thinking about it."

Some "high"lights from her latest dispatch from the Crazy Train:

1) She'll hurry her paperwork along because that "would make it easier for you to explore living arrangements, etc." In other words, for me to move to Europe and live with Miss Someone.

2) What she did with Signore is totally different, but that doesn't matter because I clearly never felt anything for WAW. "I f*cked someone 8 months ago and I would probably have done it again but for the fact that I clearly didn't "do it" for him. (Something you two have in common)."

3) "I also didn't involved the kids "who have hopes and dreams" and then deceive them when questioned." I honestly have no idea what she's talking about here, but I find this sudden concern about "the kids 'who have hopes and dreams'" almost charming.

Their "hopes and dreams" didn't matter much when she said, (verbatim cut-and-paste here from the first e-mail post-Bomb), "I already stayed for the kids! I first thought about this 2 years ago!!! And I decided I'd stay for the kids. But I can't do it anymore! I've just decided my happiness is more important than theirs. I suppose that sounds like a I'm a cold b*tch to you. Well I am. I don't care if they're happy if I'm UNHAPPY!!!!"

4) "Since you girlfriend is apparently a professional homewrecker, I don't see that she's much of an improvement on me." This one I adore. This one is magickal. "My girlfriend is...a professional homewrecker."

This, after she's had an affair, after she's lied about it, after she's dropped the bomb, after ILYBNILWY, after her repeated visits to Upstate City to visit Signore, this after filing divorce papers ("a person should never threaten divorce," she said at Not-Fab MC#1, "they should only say it if they intend to go through with it."), this after buying a new house, this after sitting her own children down and telling them she was divorcing their father, this after moving out -- it is I, Smiley's Person himself, who is responsible for the "home-wrecking."

5) Then we get to the sex. What was the big deal just because I never had a FlowBob after the 1994 midterm elections? She never did either! Um, what are you talking about? I went Downtown all the time. I told you half a million times it was no good.

Which was interesting. Because, in fact, she actually NEVER said that. Not once. Not about that. So that was a nice little revelation. Honesty is the best policy, I guess, so what I witnessed for roughly 22 years was her best When-Harry-Met-Sally.

So you're probably right, @polly. I probably need to swoop down like Superman and transform into Eating Crow man, and I probably need to wag my little tail and tumble around like a 2-month-old cocker spaniel, gosh-o-mighty-o-so-eager-to-come-around now that WAW has whistled, and isn't it keeno-swello-and-gosh-I'm-glad-you-came-around-and-what-can-I-do-to-make-you-happy?

But I ain't gonna do it. Because I can see what I'm going to get. And it isn't pretty. And I don't like train travel anyway.

I'm hopping the next White Ship into the fog. Miss Someone's got a nice sexy mojo. Tumbling around in the bedchamber is a fine thing. She lives 10,000 miles away for goodness sake. I'll take what I can get when I can get it. Sure, why not. "My girlfriend." Yeah. I can deal with that. I can have a girlfriend for a while. Nice change of pace.

And if need be, I'm canceling WAW's slot in prime-time. Because this is Coastal City, baby -- and WAW has clearly jumped the shark.