So although I'm still giving myself room to work out my feelings of disappointment, jealosy that he's had an EA in the past (and uncertainty as to whether he could be having one now or the ghost of that past EA still haunts him), and my stubborness of "Oh, no you didn't!" as far as him falling out of love with me...
I also have learned what my part in this marriage falling apart was. I can also picture the possibility that with what I now know about men...there could be a very different and much happier type of marriage in the future if we stay together and are both changed from this experience.
I have no doubt that if we divorce, I would make some other man very happy, very quickly and I wouldn't remain single very long at all... but a different man would not replace my current H - he's a one of a kind! (Both good and bad I guess-lol!) Another other guy would have his own good points but why trade in a good guy? I guess I would have already given up if it wasn't for learning very painfully the things I did wrong and realizing I didn't want to do those things anymore. As for his side of it...I can't force him to change and I'm still coming to grips with what I'm willing to accept and what I am not.
