Keep on, Jackie. You are doing a great job! Try to take care of yourself too.

Your H needs to clarify what he wants for himself and in his life. He will have to hit bottom before he can push himself up. Unfortunately that means worrying, waiting and suffering for you. I wish I could make it go away and fastforward you two to a better future. I have been there and know well how it felt.

Be patient, my friend. Concentrate on you and your kids. Be your best for you, and hopefully once the waters clear he will realize what an a**h*** he has been and start working on your R. You cannot control his thoughts or his actions. jstx's advice is right on target.

And even in this turmoil, there will come a time in which you will get a measure of inner peace. When you look into yourself and realize that you like the skin you live in and the person you are. Then you will know that you have won regardless of what happens to your M.

Do not despair. It is not over until it is over. And the fat lady has laryngitis and cannot sing

"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"