Yep, she is scared (fear of abandoment). The dragon guards the mouth of the cave which holds that which is most dear to us. Now, if someone could just get that dragon to go away.... Opportunity knocks.
I would not use a e-mail exchange but face-face preferrably or phone call second.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Concur. Scared sh*tless. And boyo, she shure is crediting you with a lot of power over her life.
She may be back on the crazy train, but at a different station. Hello, consequence, my old friend.....
Either way, (riffing off the top of my head), she sounds like someone who feels ultimately powerless over her own life and is cursing that darkness with vigor. Don't know how that impacts your response, and it shouldn't really. Roll the way you roll. Everyone has to figure out that they're dead all by themselves.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
SP, wasn't one of her complaints that "you weren't there" for her? I see the opportunity for you to "be there" when she is in crisis.
So what's your term for the WAS that turns into the LBS?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
"not being there for me" - my interpretation would be that, Me needed something and didn't get it. So getting free would mean you go look elswhere to get needs met.
Quote:
How do you act supportive without stepping back into a Savior/Scapegoat dual role? serious question.
Awareness, boundaries, healthy relationship dynamics, emotional intelligence, sticking to the issues, productive dialouge
That list is what has helped me currently, so it is very much from my experience and situation. I would say awareness is big for me - listening, internal triggers, love bucket levels.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
yep, and SP has demonstrated an excellent grasp of boundaries and self-awareness/self-control regarding these kinds of things. Compassion without enmeshment.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Wow. That just oozes pain and fear. I really feel for her. Been there.
Looks like crazy to you. Looks like hurting to me. And it's probably always been there. She's just now digging in the dirt and showing it for what it is - not masking it with ambition, strong facade, busy-ness, whatever.
Not that she'd let you, but she sure could use a hug. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Well it's all irrelevant as WAW is in European City with her LBW divorce-support buddy, who has promised WAW that the two of them will have a lot to "keep" in EC (which required a trip to the waxing salon while I babysat). As WAW told Friend LBW, in their 40s they have the right to share their bodies with whomever they want, without judgment - and judging by what I've heard a out FLBW that will be very much on the agenda.
I'm just going darkly for the duration, especially since any convo will surely have FLBW as Chorus.
