We're reading SSM, slowly, together. I suggested we start with the part for the HD partner, just so she knows that there are things I must do to make it better, and that I am doing them, before we look at what she must do.
But she is not like the women in this book. She used to love sex, had lots of it. Now she doesn't, not often. She doesn't like that it is so important to me. She says she feels suffocated. She likes it to be just fun and not serious or about being in a relationship. She used to have sex with people she didn't like. She doesn't like talking about feelings. "Don't call it making love. It's f*cking."
I'm the one who does all the talking - but I've increasingly learned to say less, because talking has never made it better. We have less sex now than ever.
It used to be different. She used to love me and love to have sex with me - but that was when I was still with someone else and shouldn't have been there at all. So I've got my comeuppance.
I don't know how to do these forums, but I'll work out how you put all those coded bits at the bottom, it goes something like Me 47, W 29 (but we're not M), Together for 3 yrs and 9 months publicly, and 1 yr before that. D2 1/2, D 4mnths SSM recovery began: 8/2009
