Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

Antlers, don't beat yourself up. A lot easier for us to say these things from way out here, without the emotional hammer hitting us in the gut. I've completely blown it in the past too, and had angry arguments with my W I regretted immediately. Try to learn and move forward, what else can we do, right?

I say get a L, tell him/her everything, tell them what your position is, listen to their advice, and prepare yourself. These legal things really don't mean as much as you might think. Like I said, in my sitch, the closer we've gotten to legal papers, the more my W seems unsure, and the more she reaches out to me. Try to just go with the flow. Don't help her, but don't impede either.

You've done great so far Antlers. Amazing how just when we're feeling strong, our WAW can drop a bomb and we find out we weren't quite as strong as we thought. Remember, all the work you've done up til now proves to you that you're okay on your own. You need to meet this challenge knowing that you'll be okay no matter the outcome. That way you can think clearly and rationally.

I've done enough of that to last another lifetime. Yeah, it was a big punch in the gut. There was no argument from me though...I listened to her, and then I said what I needed to say. I have no choice but to move forward...that's what I've been doing all along. I did hope for a second chance though.

I intend to retain an attorney, hopefully next week. These legal things, and talk of such, FEEL like they mean a lot! I don't intend to help her divorce me.

Thank you...I've done the work and will continue to do so...regardless. I felt strong as an ox until her call today. I know I'm OK on my own...I just genuinely care for her and our family, and I'm sad that it's come to this. I know I'll be OK...I'm just deeply remorseful and sad.

I appreciate you for being here...thanks.