A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[C-Bart]

I can relate. Almost said the same thing to my W this afternoon on the phone.

Hope work calms down soon for you. Sounds like my job; feast or famine.

[Buttercup37]

Really enjoying all the great info in this thread. Can see I need to find time to read the older posts in this thread too!

[Dia]

Hi, Tristan,

The board hiccupped and your post seems to have been lost in the aether, but here's the answer...
--------------------------

No, not really. Remember that with me, what motivated me to actually leave and file was discovering his affair with my best friend.

Not like I was innocent, mind you - but it's a bit different than your standard WAW. I was ready to move forward *with him*, and it was in trying to go to him to talk about it that I discovered the A.

[tristan]

Hi Dia.

The "Love you"s are kind of strange for W and I too. They seem to come and go in flurries. They come out for a while then get boxed up again. Its kind of like the weather here.

[Dia]

<popping up for air while grumbling about her 60-hour week>

So H came home earlier than expected from his game night with the work buddies.

He was *very* cuddly and affectionate. I was pretty well wiped after the week I've had but even so, I was up for the cuddling. It was an odd night. Good - but odd. We very literally spent the whole night alternately snuggling, going right up to the edge of LM then backing off, lightly dozing and having a very intimate R talk all the while.

Highlights from the R talk:

We talked about LL - conceptually as he has not read it. He agrees his primary is probably Physical Touch. Told him mine was QT.

He APOLOGIZED for ignoring me, both past and present.

We discussed the whole 'what are we going to do about STDs?' thing.

I mentioned the "Love you" comment this morning to see if it made him uncomfortable. He said it does add a bit of pressure, but he *loves* hearing it.

He said outright that he has not made up his mind 'where this all is going' yet. I told him that was ok, I already knew that and am fine with it. I won't pressure him or pitch fits.

Pursuant to the above, I explained that when I came up here, I decided that if these were the last days I was ever going to spend with him, I was going to savor and enjoy them. He said that was very brave of me.

He marvelled over and thanked me for how affectionate I've been and my emotional generosity. He apologized that he hasn't reciprocated to the same degree. I said it was ok; I understood why.

He continues to rave over the floral arrangement a few nights ago, with hints that he'd like more.

He said that he was sure I hadn't come up here with a goal of inveigling my way back into his life but I was doing a d@mn good job of it regardless. I didn't correct him.

We hit my goal of making out like teenagers. Next goal is full-on LM as we've exhausted all of the preliminaries and their variations.

There were about bajillion of the three-squeeze ILYs flying around, but no actual words.

He was MUCH more affectionate in the morning than he usually is, including lots of loving gazes into my eyes,. He may not be saying the words, but ever fiber of his being is saying them for him.

[tristan]

He may not be saying the words, but ever fiber of his being is saying them for him.

That is better than the words anyway.

[orangedog]

Then to rephrase Matthew:

"...the flesh is willing but the mind is weak."

heh heh

[Dia]

Then to rephrase Matthew:

"...the flesh is willing but the mind is weak."

heh heh

LOL! The Gospel of Matthew is near and dear to my heart since I played the role of Peggy in Godspell lo these many years ago in my hometown community theatre.

[undrdg]

Dia
How are things?
Looks like you are headed in the right direction. Congratulations on that.
ILY are always tricky. I do not understand why its so hard to say those but so easy to be intimate.
Sometimes i just want to proclaim my love for my wife and i don't care that she doesn't return it. Of course, i don't. Yesterday, she said I love you as i was leaving, and i didn't say anything back.

But its always back and forth back and forth. One minute she is lovey dovey and the next she is saying i have both feet out the door but i am standing at the doorway.

Confusing. sigh...

good luck

[Dia]

Hi, Gents,

Thank you for stopping in. I think things are going quite well.

H came home all huggy this evening. He picked me up in a bear-hug and kissed me on the cheek, too. That's a new one. He's also all afire all of a sudden to talk about this whole 5LL thing. He mulled over various people, trying to guess what theirs were, asked me more about mine and kidlet's and said he'd take the test.

Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice.