The kids, what is going suit and serve them best? Not what is going to make you feel like a better dad or "blessed" to have them...or what makes W feel like she won and is making you pay etc.
I would never put myself or my feeling ahead of the kids and I don't believe W would once she was really forced to figure it out. This is a conversation that brings psychology, emotions and personal opinions, and the law together in a challenging way. In my lifetime we saw behavioral psychology give way to cognitive psychology. We are always learning, growing and evolving. Bottom line is all of this takes people doing the right thing. Having 50/50 custody would not excuse me from working with W to figure out the right habitation regimen and other scheduling issues for Ds. It does however guide us both in terms of our rights and responsibilities as co parents to the children we brought into the world together.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
