Journaling: Oh, if I could just get through all the emotions that I apparently still have tied up inside me. I find myself really longing for H these days... and yet I am having a great time - I have new friends, go out lots and still - the idea of my failing M just tends to bring me down. Trying to detach, trying to move on... really, really trying.
A friend suggested that I ask H to come over for dinner once a week or so for "family time" for the kids' sake. He is going through a D and him and his STBX do this for their child. What do you guys think? Seems like pursuing to me and not helpful in the whole detachment arena...and yet, I know, my kids would really enjoy it.
It's H's day to pick up kids. He has been calling every night to say goodnight and even calls my cell if we are not at home. Seems a little depressed on the phone, but I could be over-reaching on that diagnosis.
I'll be giving him his monthly expense request tonight... a little scared at his reaction ($50 more than last month due to medical/registration expenses)...but then again, not only am I paying half of all of this... I also feed them, provide lunch money, clothes etc. Oh and love and attention everyday : )
Every time I see him, I pray that this time not be the time that he'll finally ask for the D. Tick, tock...
HIW M 35 H 37 D 5, D 2 Married 1996 Dating 1992 Met 1988 EA/PA started March 2009 Bomb 6/16/2009 Separated 6/23/2009
