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So I've come to say good-bye. I will tap out my web pages by day, and welcome my H home with open arms each night. There will be nothing here by me to cause him any angst in the future. I've got kids to raise and the fight has gone out of the dog. It's a hell of a thing to feel your spirit break.



Corri,
You've definitely taken a hit and I'm not surprised you're feeling disspirited. Who wouldn't?! But I'm pretty sure there is a phoenix in you and you'll be rising from the ashes more firey than ever.

If you need to take a break from the boards or leave altogether because it's best for you and your family, more power to you. I fully support you. I will miss you if you decide that is what you must do. I take breaks all the time when family, work, and hurricanes need more of my attention. (Housework can always be ignored )

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Hoops, kids. I don't think our issue is about sex and it never has been. It's about jumping through an endless stream of hoops.



If it is about hoops, and I can see your point here, you know that it really won't matter what you do. There will always be something else where you'll fall short. So you can keep jumping through the ever changing, elusive hoops OR you can insist on clear communication from your H and set some boundaries. (Hmmm, where have I heard that word before?)

Help him with his communication. Insist he be specific and clear. Don't settle for anything less. If you can't tell from what he says exactly what it is that will address his concerns, give him some time to figure it out more clearly, but let him know that you need it to be clear. You can't even begin to find a middle ground if the position he's coming from is ambiguous and ever-changing.

Tell him how you feel about all of this too. Be calm, clear, use "I" statements.

You have alot to offer here. I can't say as I've seen you revealing so much about your H. I know he wanted more sex, didn't want a dog, and hadn't read his part of SSM. That's about it. The rest of what you posted was either help for others or information about yourself. If being a part of these boards was something you enjoyed and felt good about, I think there should be room for negotiation with your H. That might just be coming from my selfish desire not to see you leave.

You've done alot to make your marriage work. You sought counseling for yourself. You went after the sex issue with gusto. You accepted your responsibility for the dog thing and fixed that. You quit your job when you realized you needed more time for your family. Stand proud, girl!

MPT

P.S. As a fellow work-from-the-home wife and mother, I've got some pretty strong opinions about the dinner thing. If there is something so compelling about work or drinks after hours that you can't be home to eat with the family when I put the family dinner on the table, then there isn't going to be much sympathy for a nose out of joint over not having dinner made for the owner of said nose. It is true, out of the goodness of my heart (which is pure gold ), I might offer to make something, but don't even THINK about HINTING that somehow I've been neglectful. Just one of my very clear boundaries.