My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[ClingingToHope]

The point is although I still loved my W and wanted to reconcile (for my D's sake if no other), I separated the personal side from the business side and got the best outcome possible short of saving my marriage. I was not going to let myself be screwed in custody or financially by "playing" nice hoping for a marital outcome beyond my control.

I'm in a similar spot. As the LBS, I'm giving her nearly $1,000 a month (28 percent of net income) plus 25 percent of money from a side job. She has the house and the kids. She makes $8,000 more a year than I do. We gutted my IRA to fix the basement after a flood so she has $30,000 more in her pension. She also ran up $15,000 in credit card debt that I'm paying right now.

So financially, if it comes to a D, I'll come out much better off than I am now. So finances don't scare me, but I also wouldn't want her back because of the money.

I originally thought about going through mediation if it becomes a D, but I don't think I would be tough enough to get myself a fair deal.